Mrs. Nicholson doesn't sound too bad...

So it was brought to my attention today that my four year crush on Jack Nicholson has progressed from long-term infatuation to pure obsession. I confirmed this notion when I realized I had spent two hours today googling images of him all the while oggling his charmingly wild eyebrows, drooling over his incredibly creepy smile, and wondering what his giant beer gut would feel like if I poked it...

    

I can't help myself. He is seriously a fucking perfect specimen of the human race!!